Mexican Living: Doctors,

By Douglas Bower
I am sick. I don't know what's wrong nor if what I have has an official name. Maybe they call it, "Ah-ha-now-you-can't-breathe-well-and-feel-like-you-are-going-to-die virus. I don't know. I will probably go to the doctor tomorrow if I am not feeling better.
Going to the doctor in Mexico is simply a delight. There are several reasons for my enchantment with going to Mexican doctors. One is that I can afford it. The best part, in fact, about going to the Mexican doctor is at the end of the visit when you have to pay less than $15.00 for an office call.
This is what you will hear your American doctor telling you,
"That will be all for today. Now be sure to pay your $150.00 DOLLAR office visit fee so you can help make the payment on my brand-new SUV. Be sure to take a look at it on your way back to your little rust bucket of a car. After all you are paying for it!"
You instead hear this from your Mexican doctor,
"That will be $150.00 PESOS (less than $15.00 USD). Oh thank you very much," the Mexican doctor tells you, "you are very kind."
Reason number two why I love going to the Mexican doctors is that, if you are a man, they do not ask you every single time to drop your pants to have a look at that worrisome prostate gland.
If you aren't a man then you have no idea of how obsessive the American medical community becomes about your prostate gland after you reach a certain age! After I hit 45-years old, each time I would go see the doctor, any doctor, they would always want to know when the last time I had my prostate gland looked at.
I would go to the doctor for:
· A sore throat: "Oh, that red throat sure looks bad," the doctor would say, "but let's have a look at your prostate while you are here."
· A cut finger requiring stitches: "There you go. That last stitch went in perfectly. Now strip off all your clothes, put on this gown, and I'll be right back."
· An asthma attack: "Oh, oh, oh my God! The lungs sound fine but I think I hear something in your prostate gland. Quick, let's have a look!"
· The neurologist slithers in:
"I think we need to look at your prostate."
"But doctor," you protest weakly, "I am here because my right leg has been numb for three months."
"Ah, yes. I think the prostate may be causing it. Bend over this table and let's have a go at it, shall we?"
American doctors will go to any means to get to have a look at your prostate. It is as though they win some sweepstakes for the most prostate glands they get to "have a look at." I just don't know!
The third reason I love going to the Mexican doctor is that they actually care about you. I am not making this up: They will call you at home, because they worry about your condition. If you are suppose to return to the doc for a follow-up visit and are one day late they call you to see if you are ok or what has happened to you. Can you even begin to fathom that?
When we came back from a Puerto Vallarta vacation, I contracted a jungle related rash. Don't ask me how. I was not swinging from disease carrying vines or rubbing up against something I should not have been. I just caught this hideous rash.
My Guanajuato doctor was treating me. It was rather a severe case and he got worried when I didn't return exactly on the 10th day he asked me to come back. So he called me up to see how I was doing.
I love Mexican doctors!
Doug Bower is a freelance writer and book author. His most recent writing credits include The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, The Houston Chronicle, and The Philadelphia Inquirer, and Transitions Abroad. He lives with his wife in Guanajuato, Mexico.
His new book, Mexican Living: Blogging it from a Third World Country can be seen at http://www.lulu.com/content/126241

Tourist Season Again!

Author: Doug Bower

It is tourist season here in Guanajuato. The streets are once again crawling with pasty-white-legged gringos looking for a good time and wanting to blow a tremendous amount of money.

Here is where I come in as your humble, sincere, and most observant columnist. I would like to offer a few of today's observations on the 2005 Guanajuato Tourist Season.

Tourism—here is how it is supposed to work:

You spend many hours at your job and work lots of overtime to save up enough money to take the family to Mexico. You look at endless travel brochures, watch every special on the Discovery channel that has the name Mexico in it, and even start telling the boys down at Gipper's where you are taking the family this summer.

The summer vacation arrives. You are excited beyond your ability to express. You pack. You put the kids and wife on a plane and fly to Mexico. Your much-dreamed-of vacation has finally begun.

Everyone is sworn to be on his or her best and most humble behavior as a guest in someone else's country. And, that is, after all, what you are, as you all agree—a guest.

You would not go to Grandma's house and fart loudly in front of Granny and all her old crony sisters—of course not. You would excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. You would try using toilet paper as a muffler, mashing it ever so gently unto your delicate rectal tissues, so as not to gross out all the old folks as they are trying to eat their nice bread pudding when they are actually farting themselves but saying nothing.

You are a guest and you will not act in someone else's home as you would in your own. This, you know, applies to being in someone else's country as well.

Tourism—here is how it actually works:

The kids scream nonstop on the streets of Mexico because they cannot have a Happy Meal; the right cartoons are not on the NON-existent television set in a hotel room that resembles someone's bedroom from the 1700's; there are no playgrounds or theme parks. There is only a bunch of Baroque buildings that they think is a salad dressing when you try explaining to them the word, Baroque.

Their behavior escalates. They pitch a fit a minute, over what? They really don't know since there is nothing to demand to have and for you to deny them. They don't want to be in Mexico because there is nothing to do.

They begin hitting their parents and the parents tolerate this behavior. This typical American child behavior is seen all the time in America. When the child doesn't get what he or she wants they beat up Mom.

The local Mexicans look with horror-stricken faces and yet settle quickly into a kind of facial expression,

"Oh that's America for you."

The mother and father somehow find something to do with the children. I think they get some Actifed for children and drug them, and put them down for naps. Then the pair goes off to a park to have a knockdown drag-out, verbal donnybrook on a very public park bench with all of Mexico listening and watching.

The local Mexicans look with horror-stricken faces and yet settle quickly into a kind of facial expression,

"Oh that's America for you."

The sweet and loving American family finally gets their act together with one another. "It had to be culture shock, or the altitude," they reason. So, off they go to a restaurant.

In the restaurant, the father begins screaming,

"I know somebody here's got to speak that there English and I wants'em at this here table right now!"

The local Mexicans look with horror-stricken faces and yet settle quickly into a kind of facial expression,

"Oh that's America for you."

And that is today's report of the beginning of Guanajuato's 2005 Tourist Season.

Pilot Paul's Luggage Buying Checklist

As an airline pilot, I "live" out of my suitcase quite a bit.

Crewmembers are very hard on their luggage and won't tolerate junky luggage that won't perform well over a long period of time. The best value in luggage is good quality, well-built, highly functional luggage that is backed up with a strong waranty. You'll achieve the best value if something serves you well for a long period of time. That way your cost per use will be low.

This eliminates most of the cheaper discount store luggage. Surprisingly, it also eliminates many of the fancy, high priced "designer" bags also.

I've carefully inspected many designer bags offered in the boutique designer logo shops. Often these bags have the quality and features of the cheap ones in the discount stores. Their only value is the "perceived value" of the designer logo.

I've been shocked to find the prices of these bags well over $1000 while they are inferior in quality, duraility, and features of many suitcases costing around $200-$300.

There are only a few brands that I specifically recommend. More on that in a moment.

The following "checklist" for choosing your luggage should help you make a good purchase decision.

Pilot Paul's Luggage Buying Checklist:

Wheels. These are essential. Think about how much walking with your bags is involved in any trip. It is best to have at least one bag in your ensemble with wheels. The ideal situation is to arrange things so with one wheeled bag acting as a cart, you can be completely mobile with your entire luggage. This will save you lots of time waiting for porters and bellmen, plus tip money.

I highly recommend larger, rubberized wheels with ball bearings- similar to the ones on inline skates. These make a noticeable difference when pulling a loaded bag. They give the best performance and longevity.

Recessed wheels are less likely to be damaged. Often, while doing aircraft exterior inspections, I'll find suitcase wheels that have been broken off in the loading/unloading process.

Handle. Make sure that it is long enough. If it's too short, you'll be leaning sideways while walking.

Make sure that the handle locks down so it won't be damaged if you check your bag.

One thing that leads to handle failures on many bags is lifting a loaded bag by the pull handle. Your bag will last longer if you lift it by the smaller grip handles.

For larger bags, two grip handles make it much easier to hoist, lift, and carry your bag. Think of getting the bag out of a trunk of up into an overhead bin.

Outer Shell. There are three different types: soft-sided, hard-sided, and in-between, semi-soft sided. Consider your needs.

Soft-sided are the most lightweight and expandable. They make the best carry-ons, but your bag's contents are most vulnerable to damage. Think about what you'll pack in one, especially if you plan to check your bag.

Hard-sided bags are the best for protecting your stuff, but these bags tend to be heavier. They also don't give or compress if you're trying to stuff them in a tight place, like the trunk of a car or an overhead bin.

Semi-soft combines the benefits of the other two. These are what I like best. They are partially framed and have expandable tops and bottoms. They weigh less than hard-sided ones, but still protect well.

Material. For soft and semi-soft luggage, nylon or ballistic nylon is stronger than polyester. Look for a tight and dense weave. If denier is mentioned, it refers to the thickness of the fiber. High denier means thick fiber.

Zippers. Metal ones aren't good. The newer, synthetic zippers made of coils can actually self-repair when the slide is moved over the teeth.

Self-repairing zippers is one thing that separates the well-made luggage from the rest.

Since people tend to over-stuff their suitcases (especially if they did some extra shopping), the zipper takes the strain of trying to close and hold the suitcase together.

These self-repairing zippers will do that job better than any others will. A standard zipper can fail under that strain. If your suitcase zipper breaks as you are finishing packing and hurrying to catch a plane, you suddenly have a big problem.

There you are, it's time to go and your suitcase zipper is broken. Everything is falling out and you don't have the time or capability to fix or replace it.

Whatever you buy, make sure that it has a large, self-repairing zipper.

Hooks. Many rolling bags have a hook to carry an additional bag. These are wonderful. With these, you can often easily carry two extra bags - one on the hook and one over the extended handle. The bag on the hook tends to counter-balance everything making the downward load on the handle lighter.

Tip - some hooks are stronger than others are. The most strain on your luggage hook comes when you have a heavy bag attached and you are on an escalator. The hooked bag is unsupported. If this is an issue, look for the elevator.

Other Nice Features. Many pockets inside and out are useful. Many bags have some plastic lined pockets. These are great for wet items like swimsuits or workout clothes. If you are getting a bag that will be outside like a backpack, rain flaps over the zippers help keep the contents dry when it's raining.

Warranty. If you buy a good suitcase and use it for a long time, a good warranty is very important.

A long warranty period is a good indication that the manufacturer believes in their product.

Many higher-end bags have lifetime warranties. While these suitcases may cost a bit more, if a free warranty repair is the difference between more years of service and the garbage, it's worth it.

The smart choice is to buy well-constructed, long-lasting quality luggage. That will be the best value, last the longest, and be the wisest choice.

There are four specific brand of luggage that I personally recommend.

To learn which ones those are and why, please visit my complete luggage ratings web page at: http://www.pilot-pauls-travel-accessories.com/luggage-ratings.htm
l

If you go there, you'll also learn the best places to find these suitcases at the best prices.

Copyright 2005 by Ph.Developments USA, Inc. All rights reserved.


About the author:
Pilot Paul is a captain at a major U.S. airline. He also hosts http://www.Pilot-Pauls-Travel-Accessories.com where an airline captain helps you with your travel needs.

If you would like to learn more travel tips, see travel accessory reviews and recommendations, learn insider's secrets, find travel discounts, or receive our FREE newsletter, please visit us at

http://www.Pilot-Pauls-Travel-Accessories.com

A White Noise Machine- Your Solution To Sleeping In Noisy Places

As an airline pilot, I have a respnsibility to always arrive at the plane well rested. That means being able to sleep well in almost any hotel room. Few are quiet.

My secret to sleeping well in noisy places (which can be yours
also)- I never go on a trip without my white noise machine.

I spent $80 for mine about 12 years ago and have slept better thousands of nights because of it. That's made it a pretty good investment.

"What Is A White Noise Machine?"

It is a small electronic device that makes background "white noise". It masks and covers other sounds that could potentially disturb your sleep.

The concept of having one noise mask another so you can sleep might be difficult to imagine.

I'm actually a very light sleeper and noises easily awaken me.

The white noise is a constant background noise that your brain gets used to so it doesn't noticeably register. Your mind blocks it out, so you can sleep without noticing it. The constant white noise in the background covers or blocks other noises.

It's an interesting phenomenon that if someone is sleeping while using a white noise machine and it is suddenly turned off, the absence of the white noise can actually awaken them.

White noise machines are most effective when placed between you and the noise source. If there is traffic or an airport out the window, then put it between the window and you.

I always use mine when traveling, even if it seems like the hotel is nice and quiet. You never can predict when other guests will be loud in the hallways of adjacent rooms. If there is no outside noise, I put mine between the door and my bed.

You might be worried that using a white noise machine will make you miss your alarm of worse yet, a fire alarm. I've been in many hotels when the fire alarms went off at night while I was using my white noise machine at full volume. Don't worry; you can still hear a fire alarm.

As an airline pilot, I often have to get up very early. I can't afford to be late for work.

My white noise machine has never prevented me from hearing my alarm or wake up call. Your mind still detects these.

White noise machines are also great for your home or for creating privacy in your office.

My wife used to work as a Family Therapist. Their offices were not soundproof, but privacy and confidentiality were extremely important. They used white noise machines to create this privacy.

I have a friend who could not sleep through her husband's snoring. It was becoming a stressful issue for them. They learned about white noise machines and got one. It did the trick. Now she can sleep and their marriage is much better because of it.

We have an additional white noise sound machine at home. My travel one is so important to me that I never unpack it or use it at home. I would hate to leave it home and lose the sleep protection it provides during my trips.

When you first get a white noise machine, you have to train yourself to use it. That basically entails gradually increasing its volume each night. It takes about a week to get used to sleeping at the maximum volume. You'll be surprised how you won't even notice it then.

Some white noise machines make "nature sounds" like frogs, birds, or whales. You can even buy recordings of nature sounds to play to help you fall asleep.

While listening to Shamu, the killer whale, may be relaxing for some people, I don't think they make very effective white noise.

The problem is that nature sounds are irregular. To be most effective, white noise should be steady and constant. Tatt's what your brain is best at adjusting to and tuning out. Irregular sounds, although nice to listen to just don't work as well.

The other weakness of this type is that they often can't be turned up loud enough to mask sleep disturbing sounds. I guess that's because at greater volume Shamu, the killer whale, sounds frightening rather than relaxing.

I'm familiar with several white noise machines. There is one that I think is superior to the rest.

To learn which one it is and why, please visit: http://www.pilot-pauls-travel-accessories.com/white-noise-machine
.html

Copyright 2005 by Ph.Developments USA, Inc. All rights reserved.


About the author:
Pilot Paul is a captain at a major U.S. airline. He also hosts http://www.Pilot-Pauls-Travel-Accessories.com where an airline captain helps you with your travel needs.

If you would like to learn more travel tips, see travel accessory reviews and recommendations, learn insider's secrets, find travel discounts, or receive our FREE newsletter, please visit us at

http://www.Pilot-Pauls-Travel-Accessories.com

Tourist Season Again!

It is tourist season here in Guanajuato. The streets are once again crawling with pasty-white-legged gringos looking for a good time and wanting to blow a tremendous amount of money.

Here is where I come in as your humble, sincere, and most observant columnist. I would like to offer a few of today's observations on the 2005 Guanajuato Tourist Season.

Tourism—here is how it is supposed to work:

You spend many hours at your job and work lots of overtime to save up enough money to take the family to Mexico. You look at endless travel brochures, watch every special on the Discovery channel that has the name Mexico in it, and even start telling the boys down at Gipper's where you are taking the family this summer.

The summer vacation arrives. You are excited beyond your ability to express. You pack. You put the kids and wife on a plane and fly to Mexico. Your much-dreamed-of vacation has finally begun.

Everyone is sworn to be on his or her best and most humble behavior as a guest in someone else's country. And, that is, after all, what you are, as you all agree—a guest.

You would not go to Grandma's house and fart loudly in front of Granny and all her old crony sisters—of course not. You would excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. You would try using toilet paper as a muffler, mashing it ever so gently unto your delicate rectal tissues, so as not to gross out all the old folks as they are trying to eat their nice bread pudding when they are actually farting themselves but saying nothing.

You are a guest and you will not act in someone else's home as you would in your own. This, you know, applies to being in someone else's country as well.

Tourism—here is how it actually works:

The kids scream nonstop on the streets of Mexico because they cannot have a Happy Meal; the right cartoons are not on the NON-existent television set in a hotel room that resembles someone's bedroom from the 1700's; there are no playgrounds or theme parks. There is only a bunch of Baroque buildings that they think is a salad dressing when you try explaining to them the word, Baroque.

Their behavior escalates. They pitch a fit a minute, over what? They really don't know since there is nothing to demand to have and for you to deny them. They don't want to be in Mexico because there is nothing to do.

They begin hitting their parents and the parents tolerate this behavior. This typical American child behavior is seen all the time in America. When the child doesn't get what he or she wants they beat up Mom.

The local Mexicans look with horror-stricken faces and yet settle quickly into a kind of facial expression,

"Oh that's America for you."

The mother and father somehow find something to do with the children. I think they get some Actifed for children and drug them, and put them down for naps. Then the pair goes off to a park to have a knockdown drag-out, verbal donnybrook on a very public park bench with all of Mexico listening and watching.

The local Mexicans look with horror-stricken faces and yet settle quickly into a kind of facial expression,

"Oh that's America for you."

The sweet and loving American family finally gets their act together with one another. "It had to be culture shock, or the altitude," they reason. So, off they go to a restaurant.

In the restaurant, the father begins screaming,

"I know somebody here's got to speak that there English and I wants'em at this here table right now!"

The local Mexicans look with horror-stricken faces and yet settle quickly into a kind of facial expression,

"Oh that's America for you."

And that is today's report of the beginning of Guanajuato's 2005 Tourist Season.



About the author:
Doug Bower is a freelance writer and book author. He is a columnist with Cricketsoda.com and the Magic City Morning Star. He is also listed with Ezinearticles.com. He lives with his wife in Guanajuato, Mexico. His newest book Mexican Living: Blogging it from a Third World Country can now be seen at http://www.lulu.com/content/126241